Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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