true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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