hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
