She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
