your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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