Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
