this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize