She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
