i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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