i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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