college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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