today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
