Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
