Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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