He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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