You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
