This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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