Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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