Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Blood and glitter go together right?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You are the jesus of drinking
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