woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
