I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
