Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
