Even the bartender felt bad for me
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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