saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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