When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
