Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
