Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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