he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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