in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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