I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
