I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he was CRYING into my vagina
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize