Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
