Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
