fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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