I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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