i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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