I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize