When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
