how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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