He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
