Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I forget how to act sober
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