You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
