I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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