We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
