Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
