White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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