So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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