I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
