Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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