Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
