A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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