Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
