Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
