i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize