I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
