I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
home. puking in laundry basket.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
