physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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