Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Randomize
