Me too!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
