brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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