Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
